We will never be able to change the past, the mistakes that we made or the mistakes that were done unto us. Sometimes we face a harsh reality and we have to learn to accept that reality the best we can. Recovery starts with mental acceptance and the motivation to get better, and once this mindset comes into fruition, progress can be seen on the horizon.
Here are four things to remember while on the road to recovery:
1) Let yourself grieve. You need to reflect, you need to feel. Shutting it out may seem easier but it never helps in the long run. It is important and necessary to let yourself feel the pain, but there also comes a point when sitting in the darkest moment possible without doing anything about it can be unhealthy. There is no time limit to pain, and part of those feelings may linger, especially when we lose a missing piece that can never be replaced. Just keep to heart that there is a difference between living with the pain versus allowing yourself to stay in the darkest place possible.
2) Never bottle up your emotions. Talk to someone. Speaking out loud is a cathartic feeling and sharing your struggles with someone lifts some of the weight off of your shoulders. Speak to someone you’re comfortable with, whether it is a close friend you trust, a family member you lean on, an online community forum where others talk about similar struggles, or a therapist because you want to keep things confidential.
3) Do not avoid therapy simply because you think you can handle it on your own. It is understandable to not want help, but when you want to handle things on your own, you only have one perception of the situation while an outside professional may help you in ways you did not realize.
4) Never give up, never feel embarrassed, and never compare your recovery to someone else. Don’t give yourself a time limit on grief, yet don’t allow yourself to sulk in the darkest pit possible when your feelings start to progress. Do not expect that after recovery everything will be the same as before and understand that accepting change is how we move on in this life. Refrain from comparing your present to your past, don’t be angry at yourself, and don’t be ashamed for the ways you feel.
Recovery is a process,not an immediate change, and we cannot change the past nor our current feelings. Recovery does not mean forgetting what happened, shutting your emotions off, or never feeling sad again; it means to live the best you can with what you have and to accept what has happened without holding onto it. Recovery means that although some pain may never leave, you are above the pain, not drowning in it. Your well being matters.