Self-esteem is indeed an important skill to develop but can be hard when realizing that you are judging your feelings and later feeling bad about them. As the holiday season approaches, it is essential to have ways to effectively deal with them positively, while interacting with family and friends that may be in town. An important component that factors into one’s self-esteem development is how much credit we give to ourselves, resulting in our self-validation of ourselves. By addressing one’s own emotions, it can be helpful to practicing validating oneself through reinforcing that those emotions serve a purpose (Marra, 2005). When recognizing your emotions, it is essential that you stay “with the feeling” and not repress because you may end up feeling lost as a result.

Moreover, seeking validation externally instead of internally can be promising. Still, you must first be able to acknowledge how much validation you will be given to the statement made by another individual(s). As you start to engage with family and friends this holiday season being able to recognize “what you want the person to tell you” is crucial. Questioning yourself what you want another individual to tell you will help you distinguish what kind of validation you are looking to get and whether you can achieve it on your end (Deschene, 2012). More importantly, it will factor in promoting positive energy into our self-esteem, which will then have us feeling better. As you continue to be there for yourself, you will then be able to be there for others as well. Building upon your self-esteem through praise, positive energy, and accepting your feelings will you start to get in the habit of doing so quickly.

See yourself from where you first stood and where you would like to get to. Having compassion for oneself is in a sense self-care, which is essential. This holiday season acknowledges the best in you, and that will show in how you interact with family and friends. Regardless of what may have gone on before in life, being able to acknowledge that “I have a right to feel how I feel” will be beneficial to you as a person. Owning up to your feelings will increase your internal and external awareness, which as a result will develop your self-esteem. Remember, it is a process and requires practice!


Wishing you a Happy Holiday Season,

Orange County Health and Psychology Associates

62 Discovery, Suite #100 Irvine, CA 92618

Office: 949-551-4272     Fax: 949-551-6406


Deschene, L. (2012). Ways to validate yourself: Be part of your own support system. Retrieved  from>5-ways-to-validate-be-part-of-your-support-system

Marra, T. (2005). Emotion regulation skills assumptions. DBT for Private Practice: New Harbinger Publications.