Useful Ways To Deal With Depression & Self-Soothing Tips

Some useful ways to deal with depression

As a result of a recent mood support group held at OCHPA, clients shared some of the things they have found helpful in dealing with negative thinking and depressed mood. Some of them are listed below and these techniques may be helpful for you too:

On a good day, when you look at the world and yourself in a more positive way, write a letter to yourself in which you tell yourself all the positive messages you believe are important to remember on days when you don’t feel so good. Make sure you write all the things that make life worth living and that help you self-soothe so that you can remind yourself about these when you can’t think of them. Give yourself advice about things you can do that have worked in the past to get motivated to do the things that keep you going.

Practice self-soothing

Stop doing things that keep you or make you feel depressed. For example, if you like listening to slow and sad music, when you feel depressed that’s not a good idea to do as it will most likely make you feel more depressed. Don’t watch a sad movie on a day when you already feel sad, it’s going to make it worse. Instead, make a playlist on your i-pod with upbeat songs that make you feel good and listen to it when you feel down. Watch a comedy or go to a comedy club when you feel depressed because humor is a great way to make you laugh and to get out of the dumps.

Set healthy boundaries with others. Often interacting with difficult or needy people makes you feel worse about yourself and it’s draining. Limit contact with people who drain you and allow yourself to not answer the phone when they call. If you have to, cut toxic people out of your life, because these relationships are not supportive and won’t help you feel better.

Call people who have experience with depression and were able to get better. Such people understand how you feel and they know what they had to do to get better. They will likely remind you of the things that are helpful in lifting mood and they often are great resources and motivators for you to do what it takes to feel better. Surround yourself with supportive people and decrease contact with critical individuals.

Go to therapy and get professional help – the days when you least feel like going, are the days when you need it most. Attend a positive support group that focuses on sharing solutions, rather than on sharing misery.

Eat a balanced healthy diet, don’t use drugs or stimulants/depressants, exercise regularly, and limit sugar and too many carbohydrates. Go on walks outdoors, connect with nature and pets, don’t isolate yourself and do the opposite of what your negative feelings tell you to do.

Create meaning in your life, be spiritual or religious, and take things one day at a time. Break large problems into smaller steps so that you don’t get overwhelmed.

Think positive thoughts and smile more, because it improves your mood and it helps you make better connections with others.

Bring your senses to the rescue

Here comes the fun part. Remember exploring your senses in elementary school? Grownups can take a tip from grade school lessons by revisiting the senses and learning how they can help us prevent stress overload. Use the following exercises to identify the sensory experiences that work quickly and effectively to reduce stress for you.

As you experiment, be as precise as possible. What is the most perfect image, the specific kind of sound, or type of movement that affects you the most? For example, if you’re a music lover, listen to many different artists and types of music until you find the song that instantly lifts and relaxes you.

The examples listed below are intended to be a jumping-off point. It’s up to you to hone in on them and come up with additional things to try.


If you’re a visual person, try to manage and relieve stress by surrounding yourself with soothing and uplifting images. You can also try closing your eyes and imagining the soothing images. Here are a few visually-based activities that may work as quick stress relievers:

  • Look at a cherished photo or a favorite memento.
  • Bring the outside indoors; buy a plant or some flowers to enliven your space.
  • Enjoy the beauty of nature–a garden, the beach, a park, or your own backyard.
  • Surround yourself with colors that lift your spirits.
  • Close your eyes and picture a situation or place that feels peaceful and rejuvenating.


Are you sensitive to sounds and noises? Are you a music lover? If so, stress-relieving exercises that focus on your auditory sense may work particularly well. Experiment with the following sounds, noting how quickly your stress levels drop as you listen:

  • Sing or hum a favorite tune. Listen to uplifting music.
  • Tune in to the soundtrack of nature—crashing waves, the wind rustling the trees, birds singing.
  • Buy a small fountain, so you can enjoy the soothing sound of running water in your home or office.
  • Hang wind chimes near an open window.

Smell & Scents

If you tend to zone out or freeze when stressed, surround yourself with smells that are energizing and invigorating. If you tend to become overly agitated under stress, look for scents that are comforting and calming.

  • Light a scented candle or burn some incense.
  • Lie down in sheets scented with lavender.
  • Smell the roses—or another type of flower.
  • Enjoy the clean, fresh air in the great outdoors.
  • Spritz on your favorite perfume or cologne.


Experiment with your sense of touch, playing with different tactile sensations. Focus on things you can feel that are relaxing and renewing. Use the following suggestions as a jumping-off point:

  • Wrap yourself in a warm blanket.
  • Pet a dog or cat.
  • Hold a comforting object (a stuffed animal, a favorite memento).
  • Soak in a hot bath.
  • Give yourself a hand or neck massage.
  • Wear clothing that feels soft against your skin.


Slowly savoring a favorite treat can be very relaxing, but mindless eating will only add to your stress and your waistline. The key is to indulge your sense of taste mindfully and in moderation. Eat slowly, focusing on the feel of the food in your mouth and the taste on your tongue:

  • Chew a piece of sugarless gum.
  • Indulge in a small piece of dark chocolate.
  • Sip a steaming cup of coffee or tea or a refreshing cold drink.
  • Eat a perfectly ripe piece of fruit.
  • Enjoy a healthy, crunchy snack (celery, carrots, or trail mix).


If you tend to shut down when you’re under stress, stress-relieving activities that get you moving may be particularly helpful. Anything that engages the muscles or gets you up and active can work. Here are a few suggestions:

  • Run in place or jump up and down.
  • Dance around.
  • Stretch or roll your head in circles.
  • Go for a short walk.
  • Squeeze a rubbery stress ball.

The power of imagination

Sensory-rich memories can also quickly reduce stress. After drawing upon your sensory toolbox becomes habit, try simply imagining vivid sensations when stress strikes. Believe it or not, the sheer memory of your baby’s face will have the same calming or energizing effects on your brain as seeing her photo. So if you can recall a strong sensation, you’ll never be without access to quick stress relief tools.

Tips for finding sensory inspiration

Inspiration is everywhere, from sights you see on your way to work to smells and objects around your home. Explore a variety of sensations so that no matter where you are you’ll always have something you can do to relax yourself. Here a few ideas to get you started:

  • Memories. Think back to what you did as a child to calm down. If you had a blanket or stuffed toy, you might benefit from tactile stimulation. Try tying a textured scarf around your neck before an appointment or keeping a piece of soft suede in your pocket.
  • Watch others. Observing how others deal with stress can give you valuable insight. Baseball players often pop gum in their mouth before going up to bat. Singers often chat up the crowd before performing. Ask around about what people you know do to stay focused under pressure—it could work for you too.
  • Parents. Think back to what your parents did to blow off steam. Did your mother feel more relaxed after a long walk? Did your father do yard work after a hard day? Try some of the things they did to unwind; they might work for you too.